Whenever we go through changes we go through grief
One of the major causes of grief is depression
Pain is stored in our:
1. past experiences
2. sub-conscious
3. brain
When change becomes difficult to handle we use a coping mechanism to deal with our emotions (we self-medicate ourselves)
You need a best friend to release those pent up feelings
Satan wants to keep you in denial so he can defeat you

Keep a journal; it will always trigger your sub-conscious mind
Get to know yourself through:
1. loss
2. relationships
Trauma causes your brain to re-wire itself
Holes in the soul gives Satan an access point into your weaknesses
Maturity comes from dealing with a situation with the mind of Christ
The more time we spend with God the more intimate our relationship with God is

Prov 12:25
Anxiety:
– is a way of thinking that produces emotions
– takes your focus off God
Phil 4:6
Matt 6:25
Depression is:
1. worship
2. comes from God, not Satan
Heaviness in your heart causes you to worship
When you become depressed God is trying to get you to slow down and focus on your emotions → in order for you to get in tune with your thoughts → so that you can change your wrong beliefs
Never change your convictions based off what someone says
You can’t live right without believing right

The people you don’t like/don’t like you are the people you’ll have to minister to (serve)
2 Sam 16:5-13
Job 42:5-10
“I’ll be able to give through the area I lost”
In order to gain, you have to lose
Release to gain
Acceptance comes when you realize you can’t recover what you’ve lost
Adjustment comes when you learn to live without what you’ve lost

Our thoughts have the ability to rewire our brain
No one can control your thinking, but they can influence it
Our emotional state is in direct correlation to our mental state
Constantly stay in touch with your emotions so you can know what you’re thinking
Mixed emotions are produced when you’re excited about the new change, but are grieving the loss of the familiar/ your comfort (i.e. you’re excited about being married, but you’re grieving the loss of your independence)
When we’re not aware that we’re experiencing grief it causes other problems
Grief:
– Is an adaptive process, not a systematic process
– Enables is to go through changes in life so we can make the adjustments and be OK
– Is associated with changes in life and loss
 
Grief Cycles:
1. Shock (“I can’t believe…)/ Denial (“It has not happened): Anesthesia- the greater the pain, the greater the anesthesia
2. Pain (“I’ve experienced change/loss”)
3. Fear (“I can’t handle the pain”)
*( We have to handle these 1st three cycles right or we’ll end up in the 4th and 5th cycles)
4. Anger (“I need to express what I’m feeling”)
5. Depression: internalized unprocessed emotions
– In order to process the first three cycles of grief, the 1st step: slow down/pause/stop
6. Acceptance: Dealing with not having the benefit
7. Adjust: Adjust your thinking (i.e. no longer trusting yourself, but trusting God)
8. Living: You’ve reconnected with God; You’ve shifted your focus back to God
– You know you’re living when you’re giving
There’s something you were depending on other than God
2 Cor 1:3-4: When you get healed, you’re birthing a ministry
 
1 Sam 30:1-8,16-20:
Discover whether or not the loss is tangible or intangible
Their loss was tangible, but their experiences were intangible
v.5- David lost his “Pleasure” (Ahinoam) and “Joy” (Abigail)
Change will devastate you when you put a tangible thing in place of an intangible need
God is intangible
v. 6- David had to re-shift his thinking
vs.7-8- When you see God’s mind you’re able to handle your situations
Our tendency to press into God becomes lesser and lesser when we get what we want/need
He’s showing us the areas where we’re vulnerable
When God speaks a word into your life, the Devil can’t touch that area
v.8 and vs. 16-20- When you go through a loss you’re gonna get a full recovery
Ecc 7:14: We don’t need to worry, because God has everything under His control
John 12:24: Whatever God gives you plant it (let it die)

(From the “Winning the Battle of the Mind” book by Gregory Dickow)
p.57- “God is a results God.”
God looks at results, but He’s method-oriented (He’s more concerned about how we get the results)
Faith and not works is the method God is pleased with
God will send His Word to His children first
God always affirms these things (This is where our confidence and assurance comes from):
1. His love
2. His purpose
3. His provision
4. His protection
 
God wants us to take leaps of faith and not leaps of foolishness
God will give us peace on the inside so we can handle turmoil on the outside
God will show you adversity to show you how He’ll handle it
Don’t let the storm affect your peace
He rebuked the wind and spoke to the waves
He has given us authority/dominion over our circumstances
God wants us to build an infrastructure the world can’t touch, but it’ll blow their mind
John 16:33:
– Tribulation: pressure
– In order to have peace, you have to be in Christ
1 John 5:4: You’ve already overcome the world
The Devil is trying to take what’s already ours, by convincing us into believing we don’t have it
We’re fighting from the position of faith (basically sustaining our belief that we already have victory)
 
Rom 8:1-6:
v.1- no sentence, no punishment
v.2- Spirit brings life and makes us free
v.3- “sin”: the nature of sin (wrong way of thinking)
v.4- “walk”: conduct/behavior
v.6- when you’re thinking right you’ll experience life and peace
Fleshly-seeks to earn God’s blessings (works, human efforts)
Spiritually- accepts God blessings by faith (faith, God’s efforts)
Col 3:1-2
Be spiritually-minded
Carnality leads to sin
When you try to keep from sinning, it sets you up to sin
 
Rom 4:19-22
He’ll let your dreams and goals dry up to prove human effort is not from Him
When God promises you something only He’ll be able to perform it
A lot of the things we give God glory for wasn’t really God (it was really human effort)
When you don’t have anything left to give God gets excited
God says, “let it die so I can resurrect it”
Stop holding on to your seed
Phil 3:1-7
v.2 “rejoice”: boast
God exposes your weaknesses to give you more grace
Grief:
-An emotion associated with loss/death
-It’s ordained by God
Level of grief depends on the value put on the object of the loss
You gain what God intends for you to have
For every loss there’s a resurrection
Cycles of Grief:
1st – Shock/Denial =Pain is great: Anesthesia: Pain killer
2nd – Pain: share your pain with God
3rd – Fear: loss associated in the past
4th – Anger: with every loss is a gain
5th – Depression
1st-3rd cycles must be dealt with in the right way
 
Self-deception is the worse type of deception
If you’re not producing any fruit, check your roots

Eph 4:26
Anger: frustrated, agitated, annoyed
Sin: miss the mark
Anger= selfish/self-absorbed
When you’re blaming someone else you’re not willing to change
Use your anger for someone else’s benefit
Use your anger for good= others/God
Control your emotions/ anger expression
You’re gonna use your anger to be destructive and not helpful
Anger expression is a choice
If your emotions are controlling you, you are out of control (vice versa)
You can unlearn anything you’ve learned
Mark 3:1-6
The Pharisees were angry and they were using their anger to do evil
Jesus was angry and He was using His anger to do good
Jesus performed 7 miracles on the Sabbath
 
Psalms 95:1-11
Rest=promised land= everything the Israelites needed
When you rest you enter God’s promises
Heb 4:1-11
When you rest, you trust God
You can rest with God
Mix what you hear with faith
disobedience also means a lack of faith
We fear being let down again because of past experiences
Identify your fears (unloved, unprotected, needs will go unmet, etc.)
When I don’t trust others, I trust myself instead of trusting God and His promises
How do we enter God’s rest? By trusting Him and His Word
You’re not depending on your talents, education, contacts, resume, etc., but you’re depending on Him
 
Jer 17:5:
– Man that trusts man is under a curse
– Trusting human strength is also a curse
– Trusting in man (yourself included) turns your heart away from God
 
Deut 8:2:
God wants us to use experiential faith
God’s commandment is rest= Trust in the Gospel of Grace
 
2 Cor 9:6-8:
We need to learn how to appropriate God’s grace on what we don’t see
When God blesses you He’s already instructed you on what you need to do with the abundance
God is not short in His supply of blessings
 
2 Cor 4:7-9, 16-18
v.8-9: Satan wants you to focus on his attacks and not on God’s abundant grace
v.16: You become spiritually stronger by becoming physically weaker
v.18: Don’t focus on what you see, but focus on things you can’t see (Col 3:1-3)
 
2 Cor 12:7-10
“Grace is sufficient” means to ward off any danger and take care of everything else
“is”= present tense
Grace works better in our weaknesses
Christ has you covered
Grace is the name of Jesus
Adversity comes so Grace/Jesus can defeat Satan
Boast about God’s grace and strength in the areas you are weak
Grace which represents the number 5 covers five areas:
1. Weaknesses
2. Needs
3. Persecution
4. Insults
5. Troubles/distress

Joseph Prince’s “The Power of Right Believing”:
pgs.200-203:
 
Self-occupation becomes a problem when our thoughts are centered on ourselves and not on Christ; it is “the reason for many of our failures and defeats”
“When you become occupied with Christ…:
– You will become increasingly untouched by the things that hold the world captive…
– You are no longer a slave to [other people’s] approval and opinions of you”
Two types of self-occupation:
1. Inferiority: self-condemning, walk in false humility
2. Superiority: arrogant, walk in pride
People who are proud are just as insecure as people who are self-condemning
Both have taken God out of the picture
Gen 3:6-7: self-occupied
Self-occupation attacks our image
Always see yourself in Christ image (get to know who Christ is)
 
When someone dies you’re grieving your own mortality
Unless you take it personal you won’t be offended
You have to answer the question, “What does this have to do with me?” the right way
We’ll answer the question wrong when we’re self-occupied
God is doing something in my life
I’m going to look for the good in every situation
Look for the benefit in every experience
God is going through every situation with you
Keep your mind focused on God
Your thinking will control you
When someone’s else thoughts become your thoughts you’re in trouble
We have to focus on spiritual truth in order to be Christ-centered
Calm yourself down so you can focus on Christ
 
Two primary motivators in the earth:
1. Love: focused on others (always giving)
2. Fear: focused on self (always getting)
Get in touch with your primary motivator
If you’re unable to get in touch with your primary motivator, get in touch with your secondary motivator (your feelings)
If I’m focused on others I’m not afraid
Process of Fear → hurt/pain → anger → choice (behavior/speech)
You can tell how fearful a person is by how angry they are
Anger is a protective emotion
Children aren’t born with fear; fear is a learned behavior from either parent’s or personal experience
Fear empowers you
You’re more powerful during the times when you’re afraid
 
Eph 4:26-27:
v.26: What you do with your anger is a choice
v.27: What you choose to do with your anger can give Satan the opportunity to defeat you
Anger is a learned behavior
Find the thoughts and beliefs associated with the anger
Never judge a behavior by looking at the behavior (judge by beliefs)
During therapy sessions: Ask them what pain they are dealing with at the moment
Panic attack= thoughts got stronger because we kept suppressing them
When you start thinking right you can get the right answer because the answer lives inside you
Choice becomes habit/stronghold
You can’t stop the choice until you get in touch with the thoughts and beliefs

Pride comes from what we do and what we have
Flesh-eyes-pride (Satan wants you to focus on these things)
We go through trials to test our faith in God
During the trial Satan will bring a temptation
If Satan can’t get to you in the daytime, he’ll try during your sleep
Satan uses temptation to encourage us to trust our own efforts
Trials are used to encourage us to place our faith in God’s effort (grace)
God’s plan always requires patience
World= trusting in myself= instant gratification
God= trust in Him= delayed gratification
God won’t give you something that’s not pleasing to Him
1 John 2:15- we can’t love the world/things in the world and the Father
 
pgs.53-54: “My thought life is the road by which Satan gets access into my life and my thought life is the road by which God gets access into my life.”- Gregory Dickow “Winning the Battle of the Mind”
Thinking spiritually is foreign to us
Gen 8:20-22:
v.21: Man’s thoughts have been evil since their youth
v.22: God works in seed time
We need God’s grace to control our thoughts
You have 24-72 hours to deal with a thought before it becomes embedded in your sub-conscious
Don’t deny your negative feelings/emotions, but identify them
God wants us to be moved by our faith and not our feelings/senses
God uses the foolish things to confound the wise
 
Mark 5:25-34:
v.28: “She said” means she kept on saying “Jesus is a healer”
v.34: She was healed because of what she believed
Satan wants to attack your beliefs
Your speech and thoughts have to line up
When you’re at peace you’ll bring it to pass
 
Walk in the pattern God that deals with you (they are His ways)
Your blessings are based on relationship not works
Your experiences will rob you of your healing/blessings
God has something better, let it/them go
Don’t let Satan control/change your image
In the middle of chaos you may need to back off so you can think clearly
Psalm 46:10- “Be still and know that I am God”
 
2 Tim 1:7- God has given us the spirit of power, love, and a sound mind/self-controlled mind
Two minds
1. Brain/flesh
2. Spirit
1 Cor 2:12-16:
v.13: You’re wasting your time talking spiritual things with normal people
v.16: We have the mind of Christ
 
Eph 6:10- Be strengthened by the power of the Lord
Satan wants you to believe he is more powerful than you are
1 John 4:4- But you have already defeated the enemy because greater is He…
 
Find out from God why people are offending you
When you get offended, people are showing you how you feel about yourself
You get offended when you take it personal because “it’s all about you” (you’re being self-absorbed)
Phil 2:4-5:
v.4: Consider other people’s interests before your own
v.5: We must think and act like Christ
Gen 6:5 and Isaiah 26:3: thoughts/mind= creative imagination/conception/visualization
 
Psalm 115:4-8:
– You become what you look at
– Start creating the kind of world you wanna live in

Two ways we get our information (our thoughts):
1. From the world’s way of thinking (the natural/earthly)
2. God’s way of thinking (spiritual/heavenly)
 
When you blame someone else you are already defeated
Satan doesn’t have any authority or control over us and he doesn’t have any rights over us, yet we fear him because of wrong thinking (Satan wants to wear you out so you’ll give up)
Wrong thinking always produces wrong feelings
You have to change your old way of thinking
 
God’s way of thinking is not aligned with our natural way of thinking
Use God’s Word to change your way of thinking
What we think is who we really are
Pay more attention to your thoughts than your words
You can think your way out of any situation when your thinking is aligned with the truth
The way you get to know yourself is through your beliefs
You can sabotage your world by your words because your words come from your beliefs
 
Col 1:12-13- God qualifies us
“Delivered”:rescue
He sent His son to come get us out of darkness
 
I can pursue things or I can believe that they “will be added unto me” (Matthew 6:33)
You’re not limited by your salary
You should be working to get seed, not salary
Your condition doesn’t change your position
Our adversities:
1. are for us to allow God to work on our behalf
2. and to also help us change our wrong beliefs
Everyday you wake up, the Spirit already knows what’s gonna happen to you; therefore, you already have the victory
God moves on our behalf whether we see it or not
 
2 Cor 4:13 (Psalm 116:10)- believing precedes confession
Mark 11:22-24: believe and don’t doubt
Heb 11:3- God’s word framed the world
Matt 12:33-34: you can’t speak good if you’re evil
When God gives us power we can transfer that power over to Satan through wrong thinking
As a result Satan can use our own power against us
Get control of yourself first then you can control the situation
The Devil will try to get you to use your flesh to handle spiritual problems
2 Cor 9:8-God is constantly pouring His grace into our lives
Rom 5:17- We rule in life by receiving an abundance of grace and the gift of righteousness
“Receive”: to take hold of

We have a belief system rooted in:
1. God’s Word
2. Our own experiences
You can have a dual belief system
Your experience does not change the truth of God’s Word
A truth can be revealed through your experience
 
Our emotions are associated with past experiences
Our feelings lead us more than anything else
You don’t have to act on how you feel
Acknowledge your wrong beliefs
Believe what God says in His Word before you confess it
Your conviction will overrule the lie
A lie will produce a chemical imbalance
Don’t start to meditate on God’s Word when something bad happens, meditate on God’s Word before something bad happens
When you gravitate towards the right belief you’ll walk in victory
 
The only law under grace: Love your neighbor as God loves you
You can’t love when you’re expecting the person you love to give back to you
 
Gen 2:25- They weren’t ashamed because they were covered in God’s glory
Gen 3:6- They used their five senses and sense of knowledge
Adam and Eve wanted to see what life was like independently of God
guilt/shame: “I did something wrong.”
If you believe Satan’s accusations, then you don’t believe that God sees you as not guilty (2 Cor 5:19)
God has an inexhaustible supply
If you can handle it (pride), God will resist you (James 4:6/Prov 3:34)
1 Peter 5:5-8
Pride says, “I’ve got to do everything on my own.”
Everything God does for us is done out of His love for us
You don’t really know what love is until you’ve been loved by God
Luke 15:11-32: Even if you waste everything God gave you, you can still go home
Gal 5:6- what’s really important is our faith working through love

You have to be cautious of the thoughts that you allow into your mind
Satan’s goal is to attack your thought life
He can put a thought in your mind
He can whisper a lie, but he can’t make us act on it
He can only influence our thinking and behavior
 
He consumes (devours us) us by infiltrating our thoughts (1 Peter 5:8)
Everything Satan does to trap us is based on a lie or deception
Satan wants you to repress the lie
We have to be able to identify the lies that we have believed
We have to:
1. Identify the lie
2. Renounce the lie
3. Replace the lie with the truth
Believe the Word of God first, then Speak the word of God to overcome the lie
 
Matthew 28:18-19: All authority in Heaven and on the earth was given to Jesus by God
“Authority”: rights
Luke 10:19- The same authority Jesus has He has given it to us, but we have to exercise that authority
The Devil wants to use fear to keep you from using your authority over him because:
You can’t walk in authority if you’re living in fear
If you don’t exercise your authority, Satan can still hurt you
Anybody can take advantage of you when you don’t know your rights
1 John 5:18- Satan can’t harm you unless you believe he can
You have the authority to combat anything Satan throws at you, but you have to know your rights
Phil 3:20- We are citizens of Heaven
As a citizen of Heaven, all your rights are located in the Bible
Satan knows you don’t know your rights
 
God will allow lack in your life
Whenever you’re convinced that someone (God, spouse, friend, family member, etc.) is not going to be there, then you say, “I have to take care of myself” and you’ll attempt to get your needs met your own way (You’re now walking in fear)
When you try to get your needs met your own way:
1. You step out of grace and into the law
2. You become cursed and now Satan can attack you
When you start walking in fear, you open yourself up to a satanic attack
There’s no way you can walk in fear, get your needs met, and defeat the Devil
 
Your beliefs will determine your thoughts
And your thoughts will determine your feelings and emotions
And your feelings and emotions are gonna give information to your will in order for you to act or speak
 
When you’re self-absorbed, the Devil will defeat you every time
When you’re thinking of yourself:
1. You become selfish and you’re now walking in fear.
2. You rob yourself of faith and now God’s grace cannot be poured into your life
 
Taking care of yourself is walking in fear
Your personal experience will cause fear
You cannot love people from a distance
Prov 13:12- When our hope is delayed it causes us to think that it won’t happen and we need to do something else
That’s when we shift from faith to fear
Gal 6:9
Faith says even though I don’t see it, it’s already done
 
False beliefs produce wrong thoughts
What causes us to have wrong beliefs? We don’t believe God loves us.
If I know my Father loves me, then I don’t have any problems trusting and waiting on Him
I don’t have to do anything for God to bless me
We try to make our tangible needs fulfill our intangible needs and as a result we get hurt
We all walk by faith, the question is: What or Whom are you putting your faith in?
If your faith is in anything other than God, you are guaranteed to get hurt
 
There’s no way anyone can hurt you, unless you give them the right to hurt you
If you start taking responsibility for your own pain, you’ll start walking in victory in every aspect of your life (“There’s something I’m thinking wrong that’s causing me to get hurt.”)
 
John 6:26-29- The works of God is believing not doing
2 Cor 9:8- God always wants to bless us with more than what we need so that we will be able to help someone else (but it’s all based on our belief that he wants to bless us)
Under the law you had to pay tithes in order to be blessed
However, we pay tithes because we’re blessed
When you’re under the law, you have to “do this…”
When you’re under grace, you have to “believe this…”
You get God’s grace through faith
When you put pressure on yourself to get something done, it makes it much harder to finish the task
God doesn’t want you paying tithes out of fear
Gal 3:12-14: If God blessed us, then He cannot curse us because of: Num 23:19
Eph 1:3, Rom 5:19- God blessed us based on what Christ did
Heb 4:1-3, Romans 4:16: We receive God’s promises through our faith
 
When you see how bad you are, then you can see how good God is
Whenever the Devil brings an accusation against you, you have to condemn it
Isaiah 54:17- If you don’t condemn whatever Satan brings against you, then the weapon is formed and it will prosper
Once you rebuke the Devil (condemn his accusation) and speak His Word, you empower God to move on your behalf
 
Satan’s weapon is a lie in your thought life
Your weapon is believing and speaking the Word of God (Prov 18:20-21)

All of our behavior is directed towards a goal
We make a basic assumption that if we do something we’ll achieve our goal (this is our belief)
We have goals because it gives us a sense of accomplishment
Our goal is to fill a need
Two types of needs:
1. Tangible
2. Non-tangible
We do tangible things to fulfill a non-tangible need
Until you identify what your non-tangible needs are you’ll be on a roller-coaster
 
The world tells us what we need
Kosmos= world
Cosmetology= makes you up
 
We place a demand on people to meet our non-tangible needs with tangible needs
Trusting someone or something other than God leads to disappointment and hurt
When we blame others for our pain, we’re not looking inward and then upward
We can’t grow when we make others the source of our pain
We go into relationships unfulfilled when we should go in already filled (“filled with the fullness of God”- Eph 3:19 NCV)
Fear causes us to stop giving because we fear we’re not gonna get anything back (be refilled)
We need to supply people’s demands through God
*We can’t get hurt when we choose to give
Gal 5:13-Use your freedom to take care of others
 
Prov 13:12- Hope delayed makes us sick
Hope: expectation
When we place expectations on others we get sick (hurt)
Quit placing your expectations on people and place them on God
Ask God to satisfy your needs
Every craving is a craving for God’s love
When God delays to meet our needs we try to meet our needs our own way
However, we learn how to be patient when our hope is delayed
God doesn’t work in the fast-food business
 
Prov 18:14- our spirit sustains us
When you feed your spirit more than you feed your flesh you become stronger (vice versa)
When you fear, you’re feeding your flesh
 
Phil 4:6- worrying means you’re talking to yourself
Paul advises us to talk to God instead of ourselves
We have Jesus and the Holy Spirit praying for us (interceding for us); therefore, we don’t need to worry about anything
We can’t receive God’s peace without knowing His love
 
Eph 3:14-21
When we know the fullness of the love of Christ we can have everything we need
I can do what my Dad is calling me to do when I know Him
 
1 John 4:10- this is real love
Healing and salvation are two sides of the same coin
 
Gal 5:6- faith works through knowing God’s love for us
I need faith to know God loves me
We sin because we don’t believe God loves us
If God gave His Son for us, what else will He not give us?
Everything we get is through grace by faith
You can’t lose what you didn’t earn
Our sin will never separate us from the love of God because Jesus was already separated from God on our behalf
If we have to earn it, it’s not love